margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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