Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
