i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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