Just mADE A PArabola og urine
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
