I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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