So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
