I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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