I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
