He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
