Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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