Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
did i just pee glitter
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
