Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
