Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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