i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
