I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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