So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
