If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
