My nipple is on Facebook.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
