rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
