White coat. Heels.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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