YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I didn't notice because vodka
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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