Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
