Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
