dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
