I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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