Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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