What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
