Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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