I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
