I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
we should paint friendship bongs
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