Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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