We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
