Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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