I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
