I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
