At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
