Apparently you make a good broom.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Two words: nipple clamps
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