Girls should come with a carfax report
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
