She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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