I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
