Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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