not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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