I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
