when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
These tits shall not be calmed
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
