She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
