Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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