Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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