I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
