I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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