haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
