i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
